Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
