I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I lost the right to judge tonight
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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