She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
