I CAN MOONWALK!
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
