I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
