And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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