u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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