What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
