I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
