We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
