I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
We need a shit load of segways right now
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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