i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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