The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
