he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
