I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
