Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
