I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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