How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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