Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
