I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
