I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
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