you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
