Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
