I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Bring me that man meat
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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