I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
