My liver just broke up with me...
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
