this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
