I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
