I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
