Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
