My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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