How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
