Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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