i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Randomize
