True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
It's never too late to be topless.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
