I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
