doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
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