If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize