You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
