Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
