the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
