random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
