dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
