why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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