you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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