Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
