You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize