Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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