After last night, I could never be a politician.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Can I color on your dick again?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Randomize
