weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
