she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
