I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Randomize