no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
