I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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