she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
