Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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