just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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