STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
