Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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