she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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