Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
