He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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