Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Randomize
