I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
