I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize