So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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